Idiot Box – Sandra MacGregor

AMARULA: Life with Frodo continues to be an incredibly taxing experience. My efforts thus far to frighten him into submission with my superior intelligence, wit and sharp claws seem to have had no effect on the nincompoop, who remains frustratingly cheerful and friendly! Curse that ginger’s gregariousness! But now that imp must be stopped! He has taken to using MY beloved Sour Puss box for his own ends! Though I have clearly said that it is off limits, he continues to sleep, play and just lounge about in it.

AMARULA: To make matters worse, Frodo even invites Zulu to join him in MY box! I know they get together in there to plot against me!

ZULU: (in a whisper) Let me guess…Amarula thinks we’re plotting against her again…

AMARULA: Silence you mocha miscreant! Don’t interrupt! But now Frodo has gone too far! He is using my own box against me! Lately, when I approach my cardboard sanctuary innocently planning to catch an eight-hour nap…

WHAM! He lies in wait and strikes without mercy and scares the bejesus out of me.

How am I supposed to endure when my very own box is used for such nefarious purposes?! Now wait a minute…what’s this…

Frodo seems about to do the same thing to Zulu…

And Zulu does not look happy!

Well maybe I can get used to Frodo borrowing my box sometimes if he is going to put it to such good use by terrorizing Zulu!!

AMARULA: As you can imagine, life has been a real struggle since Frodo came to join us. The nauseatingly friendly and way-too-energetic kitten seems to have made it his life’s mission to be my friend! Despite the fact that the human and Zulu are both more than happy to spend time with him, Frodo insists on, as he says, “spreading the love” in a very misguided attempt to befriend me!

Luckily, I have a series of 26 boxes scattered in prized locations throughout the house where I can find solace and silence. They are my very own frolicking feline-free zones! Of all of them, this one is my favorite for obvious reasons.

Ah! Peace at last! These four cardboard walls are my sanctuary! A place I can go and be alone to reflect on the meaning of life, groom and enjoy a quick 6 hour nap.

Oh no…what’s this?

FRODO: Hey Amarula, guess who! I found you!! I just love it when we play hide and seek! I can’t believe we have the same favorite game. We are so going to be besties just like me and Zulu!