As you all know, my ambrosial outdoor environment became a little less heavenly when a harnessed Zulu was allowed to finally leave his indoor cat-containment unit (aka the house) for supervised outdoor visits.
While I did enjoy sitting on his leash and preventing him from going anywhere, things have taken an ugly turn recently. Obviously, his taste of freedom has gone to his head. In an effort to establish dominance over the backyard, he actually challenged me to a cat fight! Clearly, someone had a little too much cat nip this morning!
First, he tried to stare me down (a classic amateur move)!
When that didn’t work, he actually tried the more advanced “aggressive tail and teeth combo.”
Finally, sensing his end was near, he tried to get physical with a round of fisticuffs.
Growing bored at his laughable attempts at supremacy, I went in for the killing blow: My famous “You-are-sooooooooooo-going-to-be-sorry” stare.
As predicted, the poor boy’s knees immediately turned to mush and he fell prostrate to the ground. He begged for his life as I stood over him victorious, my rule as “Outdoor Oligarch” once more established.
ZULU: Actually Amarula I tripped over one of your giant hairballs and fell to the ground.
AMARULA: Silence peon! Curse you and your havoc-causing harness!