Will No One Rescue Me?

…It has been six minutes now that I have been attached to the tree. Clearly another plot of the neighborhood gang of squirrels to kill me. They must have put crazy glue on the tree trunk in an effort to capture me here until I starve to death. It is likely sleep deprivation will spell my end. It has been 10 minutes since my last seven-hour nap and I don’t know how much longer I can last…where is my silly human when you actually need her? Pray for me…