The Art of A Sneak Hug Attack
BILTONG: As you know, dear readers, hugs are one of my favorite things! Zulu and I love hugging! We are experts!
Sadly, Amarula does not seem to share our love of hugs. That’s why I often have to perform cuddle sneak-attacks. Because we all likely have those in our lives who are “hug-hesitant,” I wanted to share with you how you can perform covert surprise embraces even on cuddlephobic cats like Amarula.
STEP 1:
You have to keep up your strength for a hug attack so I like to begin with a hearty meal in front of the heat vent where I can also get my bum warmed at the same time! It is glorious!
STEP 2:
Then I like to lull my victims unsuspecting hug-receivers into a false sense of security by acting casual—as though hugs aren’t the only thing on my mind!
STEP 3:
It’s important to be diligent. If a cuddle-cautious cat even gets a whiff of what you are planning they may hide. You must look high and low until you find them!
STEP 4:
The next step is to approach your prey pal in a friendly and open manner and engage them in pleasant conversation. Some examples:
a) Ask them where they got such a ridiculous pretty collar
b) Ask if you can share a sunbeam with them:
STEP 5:
Get as close as you can using your stealth and incredible dexterity:
Oh the unsuspecting fool!!
STEP 6:
Go!! Hug attack!!!
AND AGAIN!
There is even the legendary Double-Hug attack! But this difficult maneuver should only be attempted by students like Zulu and me who have highly advanced training in hug-stealth techniques
STEP 7:
The final step is to wash up, bask in your glory and plan the next attack!
Now everybody go out and practice!!
Thanks for the lesson 🙂 Such cuties.
BILTONG: Thanks! Always happy to share what I know-the world needs more hugs!
guys…theeze bee grate lezzons inn deed…….we all most thinked fora wee minit de attack mite knot
werk…. coz ther iza wee bit oh…. air plane ear….. in step 5 !!! 🙂 ♥♥
Biltong: Luckily Amarula is not the brightest cat!! Glad you enjoyed!