Well, just when I thought my life couldn’t get any worse after mom adopted the South Africa stray cat, I wake up to this:
Sweet God they are ugly!
Clearly mom has lost her mind! She already has one cat and then she goes out and buys two more! Apparently they are Orientals (related to Siamese) and she paid real MONEY for them! Who actually pays money for a cat!?? Like dad says, you can just go to any neighbourhood dumpster and grab one from there! Worst of all, the kittens seem not to realize that I am a BASSET TO BE FEARED AND RESPECTED! They seem to have no fear of me at all and, in fact, seem to find my softness and warmth irresistible (well, ok , I am incredibly soft and warm…but still!)
I just don’t get it… my menacing basset stare just isn’t instilling the fear and sense of doom I expected. They just can’t seem to get enough of me!
To make matters even worse, they seem to have some strange ability to charm, and even dad is falling under their spell!!
- Et tu, Brutus??!
Seriously! Seriously! Is this what my life has come to? Not a shred of dignity or solemnity left!?? Oh the indignity!!! I try to hide under the bed so they can’t find me:
Even Amarula has the good sense to try to hide in a box to get away from the kittens:
I don’t know what mom was thinking! They seem to have no redeemable qualities at all and have the intellect of a dust-ball! From what I can tell they do little but chase their tails and then sleep all day:
Often sleeping next to me!
- Not only do they sleep all day but they sleep in the craziest, most uncomfortable looking positions!
Suffice to say, I am NOT IMPRESSED! I will have to consult my good basset-pal Waffle to see what he thinks my next move should be! I have already tried to strangle them while looking like I am actually enjoying sleeping with them, but that does not appear to have worked–the kittens still breathe!
- The sleep-strangle hold is one of my best moves. Sadly it does not appear to work!
Well dear readers, until I come up with a plan, pray for me!
Save me from the humiliation!
Well, Charlie my dear, you just have to face the fact that you are irresistible to man, woman and (forgive the term!) beast alike!!!!
Charlie, you ARE just tooooooooo irresistible. It’s clear that these little aliens simple adore you, so it looks like you’re stuck with them! My Quincy says, “tell Charlie to train them to be his little furball slaves right from the git-go!”
I am irresistible, aren’t I?! I may just have to accept it–and please thank Quincy for the advice, I will begin training the fur-balls immediately!